


Sunshine and Rainfalls

by darlingblossoms



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Cute, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventful, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Haikyuu - Freeform, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Angst, M/M, Wholesome, alternative universe, iwaoi - Freeform, tragic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:35:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28514301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlingblossoms/pseuds/darlingblossoms
Summary: It all happened in the span of one month, no one knew how traumatic that month could've been though. A story based on the spiraling and hidden away life of Oikawa Tooru. Iwaizumi Hajime was the first to dive into the trauma that was cast upon his best friend.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 14





	1. Sunshine and Rainfalls

**Author's Note:**

> a fanfiction nobody told me to make but im doing it anyway ;o

Sunlight was beaming, covering the entire school a few hours before the sun would set. The winds were slightly blowing, something to move a few leafs on the ground nothing major. Iwaizumi had finished his classes earlier with Oikawa that day but had practice right after, he didn't mind as he needed the extra exercise for the day. Oikawa had seemed to dash out of the classroom quicker than any other time, nothing out of the ordinary though, it had become a routine of a few weeks at this point, even when they would finish their classes on time. No one really questioned it anymore, only at the start but then again the boy always gave out excuses, and after a while no one appeared to ask about his whereabouts. Iwaizumi had gotten all of his belongings and walked out of the classroom last, he took his time as he didn't want to rush anything just yet, there wasn't a reason to, he wasn't late to any team gathering or such. But eventually, curiosity got the best of him and wanted to look for Oikawa. He wasn't one of the people who'd asked about where he would go and why he was in such a hurry, plus he'd usually want to ask him about it during practice but because he always wanted to stay focused, he usually would simply forget. Truthfully, he had been slightly worried before it became a habit. The boy was always curious about Oikawa, even if he didn't seem like the type to care about other people that much, it was as if something was driving him closer each day and with each interaction.   
School had finished for everyone else as well now. He glared intensely at everyone walking around hoping to possibly spot Oikawa somewhere since he would usually stick out like a sore thumb, engulfed by his so-called "fangirls". He adjusted his tie and held onto his backpack better as he started looking around the back of the school expecting anything at this point. To his surprise, he wasn't there and there was no luck on his side this time by the looks of it. Ready to give up, he walked by the court, its doors were open but the boy was nowhere in sight. Although, a slight moment of chance was given to Iwaizumi as he heard Oikawa giggling. His first initial thought was that he was sitting or looking at the view over at the second floor of the court building's balcony, and he was correct. Almost out of breath from running up the stairs, he spotted him sitting down and giggling at his phone with headphones on. Iwaizumi scoffed. "Is this what you've been doing all these times? Laughing at stup- Why are you watching old videos of us?" His tone quickly changed, from a harsh one to a flustered one. Now he was even more curious and squatted down next to the boy. Oikawa giggled and took off his headphones. "Iwa-chan you're almost never curious about what I do. And oh these? I don't do this every time I leave early. I just have some business I have to do hmpf!" He pouted and placed his phone down to cross his arms. "You were quite dumb as a kid-" Iwaizumi hit him over the head with his hand. "Oww Iwa-chaaan! I was going to add that you were cute too!" "You've toughened up a lot after that though" He sneakily said under his breath smirking. "Just get up, your ass will get cold and you'll be complaining while we train." The boy got up with him after shutting off his phone and leaned over the balcony sighing. "How long have we been friends for Iwa-chan?" Iwaizumi was wary of that question, it seemed weird. "A couple of..." He paused for a second. "Many years I guess." "You do realize that no matter what we've been through we always stuck together right?" Oikawa kept looking at the view, trees being swiftly and calmly blown by the wind, clouds clashing with each other. "Y-yeah. Wait are you trying to get on my soft side?" He put his hand on his hip, bringing back the aggressive tone and glare. "Ah, you caught me, my plans have been foiled!" The boy dramatically said as he continued being dramatic by putting his hand on his head and falling towards Iwaizumi. "Cut it out Shitty-kawa, we have practice now. Get yourself together and let's go." Even after slightly insulting him, he was kind enough to wait for him. All of this aggressive and harsh behavior towards him was just a coping mechanism of some sort. Iwaizumi of course wanted to change himself as he didn't know if Oikawa was taking these insults personally.  
After a few minutes of them changing with the rest of the team, they went to start their training. About an hour and thirty minutes later, they finish with all of the boys exhausted as it was a more demanding one than usual. The duo was picked to clean up the place and put everything back in order this time as they took turns to clean up while the rest of the team slowly went to change and finally go back home for a good rest. Still panting from the excessive practice and barely holding up, Oikawa started to put the balls they used back in the basket. Iwaizumi felt as if something was off with him though. He was more tired than usual and didn't have much energy in him, he could practically see it from his eyes. He also noticed that there seemed to be something stopping him from being more active, like a pain down around where his abs would be. The boy wasn't sure of anything just yet, so he simply went quickly to grab their water bottles from where they had put them and fetched his own one to him. "Drink some water first or you'll be more tired Trashy-kawa." The boy smiled with a sparkle in his eyes. "Thanks Iwa-chan!" To their surprise, they managed to clean the place up quicker than expected. The coach had given Oikawa the keys to lock the court since he was a trusted member and more on the 'responsible' side. At this point, the sun had set already which created a more cozy atmosphere for them to enjoy while walking home. While on their walk back home, Iwaizumi was starting to get annoyed by Oikawa's humming. He glanced over to see that he was wearing his headphones which clearly meant that he couldn't hear himself being completely off-tune. "Do you seriously have to do this?" He took a look closer. "Those are my headphones Shitty-kawa!" He started shouting while the boy was completely startled, but he wasn't surprised at all that he would eventually notice that he borrowed his blue headphones. "Okay okay, I'll give them to you just stop screaming, my precious ears can't handle it." Honestly at this point, all he wanted was to not bother anyone around him with Iwaizumi's shouting since it was getting later by the minute.   
"I'm not one to usually ask you this type of question but, what kind of business do you do after classes end?" The tone of his voice said it all, Iwaizumi was slowly starting to be concerned about Oikawa, but he got the usual response everyone else got. "Hmm, Iwa-chan~ Why are you so curious about what I do now? Getting jealous because you think I'm spending time with someone else?" He chuckled with a smile. "It's nothing to worry about, just some stuff I might tell you, maybe tomorrow? Maybe next week. Who knows? Oh, I know! But I won't tell you." He felt so calm with Iwaizumi even though it showed that he was worried about him, but concerning what? Why did he feel so worried? That was in his mind all the time now. "You're such a smartass sometimes it's tiring."A few more minutes of walking together had passed on, Oikawa being happy he's spending time with him and Iwaizumi with his mind filled with questions that cant be answered so far, they made it to the front of the boy's house. "I'll see you tomorrow Iwa-chan! Goodnight." He was about to walk towards the front door until he was stopped by him. "Keep the headphones, they're useless to me anyway." Not wanting to lose his pride, but not wanting to possibly upset Oikawa as he wanted to improve himself, he caved in and ended up giving him the headphones. Happy noises can be heard as the boy parts his way with him, walking back to his own house listening to the sounds of the early night, zoning out.


	2. First Rain

The following morning, Iwaizumi woke up from a deep slumber. However, during that resting period, he experienced some sort of dream. It didn't seem like a nightmare, nor something good. It was as if he was walking past all of his childhood memories, specifically ones with Oikawa. It included them playing volleyball together for the first time, the day that Oikawa won the best setter, and him being extremely happy for his achievement. Looking back at it, it was strange. The boy had never experienced something like this, it all suddenly came flashing back at him without any warning. It felt like a dream that he couldn't explain so he just ignored it. He had a quick shower after he woke up since he couldn't have one last night due to how exauhsted he was. After freshening up, he changed into his uniform and had a morning snack as he head to school. He ended up walking with Oikawa as they created this unofficial routine of walking together it just seemed safer that way even though they were both alert and it was a safe neighbor hood, it made them feel closer to each other which comforted them. "Good morning Iwa-chan." He seemed to be in a happier mood than yesterday, Iwaizumi thought it might've been the training that woke his spirit back up, but it didn't seem that way to him. "Good morning." He replied, only because he wanted to start fixing his attitude. Oikawa was pleasantly surprised. "My my you talk during the mornings now? I thought you would ignore me until the second period like you usually did." He let out a chuckle for a brief moment. "I'm just in the mood today. Don't make it worse and be happy with what I'm doing right now." Oikawa enjoyed this new attitude, he found it endearing but that joyful energy was abruptly stopped by a group of girls that found the route to his house the other day. He didn't like that at all, or at least on the inside he didn't. The girls walked with them to school, not letting them to exchange a few more words freely to each other which bothered them both. Iwaizumi wanted to tell him about the dream he had the previous night thinking that it wasn't anything serious, but he couldn't just bring it up like that in a conversation. He liked seeing his best friend have a massive amount of popularity because deep down he wanted the best for him. 

Their morning classes were nothing out of the ordinary, everything went smoothly but that didn't last very long. During the second period they were doing relatively worse that day, specifically Iwaizumi and Oikawa. It was as if a force was driving them both down to the point where they couldn't answer a simple question without panicking. The boys picked up on that and they were suspicious of each other, causing them to rush out of the class during lunch time to talk about what was happening. "Did you get enough sleep last night?" They both muttered while keeping direct eye contact. "Yes but actually-" "No i had a weird dream" Their faces went pale white and paused for a moment. The suspicion rate went through the roof since from what they could tell they had similar experiences last night which confused them even more. "What time did you sleep" Iwaizumi murmured. "Around 2am... I was watching a volleyball match, what about you?" He emphasised his tone on the end of the sentence. "Me too. I was exercising before I took a nap- Wait you told me you were going to sleep early!" Oikawa's words backfired. "I- uh Iwa-chan stop interogatting me! You would've yell at me if I didn't tell you i would sleep early." He was slightly alarmed at how Iwaizumi caught him red handed like this. "Wait, I had a dream too!" Oikawa tried to change it up so he wouldn't well at him for sleeping late when they had practice the following day. "Was it about..." "...our old childhood memories?" They practically finished eachother's sentences, leaving them startled. Iwaizumi's head was going insane. "All I saw in my dream was me walking and looking around at different parts of our childhood." "Mine was walking with you looking at the memories. Was the ending a bit... Strange to you?" Oikawa's voice lowered when it came to the last part. "What do you mean by that? Mine finished normally with me waking up.." He was a bit concerned and a little bit worried. "Oh, nevermind then.." Silence filled the entire area, it was as if nobody else was around them and all that was left was the two of them, abandoned in an unfamiliar place. "I need some coffee, I won't be able to focus during practice today. Come with me Shittykawa." He did as told. The boys were walking down to the vending machines, their heads filled interily with questions they couldn't answer at the moment, which eventually made things worse. 

The sound of the winds getting heavier, along with the satisfying noise that opening canned coffee made. "You still don't like it? Not even milk coffee?" Iwaizumi tried to change the atmosphere and calm both of them down with talking about another topic, irrelevant to the one they were talking about before. "No, it's too bitter and I can't enjoy it." He made a gagging motion with his mouth as Iwaizumi took a sip. "It doesn't matter anyway." He glanced over at a few groups of people. "How come you only hang out with me Aren't you supposed to be the popular type, hm?" At this point he started teasing him again. "I'm still popular Iwa-chan! I've heard people saying that they don't come up to me as often as they used to because they're intimidated by me hanging out with you. But I don't mind it, it's cool." He did a finger gun motion. "Oh, well that makes sense then, I honestly thought people didn't like you anymore because of your ex-girlfriend scandal." He chuckled, looking at Oikawa's flustered face. "Euh, I-Iwa-chan it wasn't a scandal!! She just thought I was obsessed with volleyball." "Hm well, she's not wrong. You are obsessed. But from your point of view you did care a lot about her." "Yeah.. I did like her a lot, but all I wanted was to succeed while playing volleyball. I guess I'm not the best at relationships." He sighed, looking around at everyone's little friend group. "It's still early Shittykawa. Don't worry about it." He took another sip, this time a longer one, wanting to enjoy in peace. This tension drove him to do something affectionate for once towards Oikawa. A simple pat on the head while looking at the sky, seeing how the clouds were forming he first rain of that month. He went shy very fast. His cheeks were starting to turn red for a reason he couldn't specify so far. The boy seemed to be touch starved, he needed that small sign of affection. "Hey uhm Iwa-chan?" He turned himself around avoiding eye contact. "Could you keep your hand there for a little while?" To Iwaizumi it sounded as if he was whining. "Fine. Don't get used to it though, this is only because of the weather right now and I've been in a good mood since the morning." He continued ruffling and playing with his hair as he finished his beverage. Oikawa's smile turned brighter the longer he kept his hand there. This affectionate act was cut short due to the bell ringing, alerting everyone to continue their classes. Iwaizumi threw out the now empty coffee can and walked with Oikawa back to their homeroom without exchanging any words except from some glances at each other. 

By the time they were nearly finished completely for the day, the rain had started to pour. It seemed as if something had triggered the boys into a different state of mind. They didn't pay much attention to it only because they already couldn't stay focused for the majority of the day and didn't want to make it worse upon themselves. During their final class hour, Oikawa kept glancing over at Iwaizumi, as if he wanted to say something to him but he was siting by the window and in between them was Kindaichi. It seemed to be a big inconvenience for them at times like these and it bothered the boy a lot. Meanwhile over at Iwaizumis place, he was hesitant of excusing himself for the bathroom because of a heavy headache he got. He didn't want to make it a big deal because it might've seemed 'weak' of him to do so, even though only he was thinking that way for a personal reason he hadn't even told Oikawa about. It bothered him a lot and the rain outside didn't make it any better, but as of now he had to cope with it by himself. For the rest of the remaining minutes of the class, Iwaizumi was trying to stay focused while enduring his headache and Oikawa desperately trying to get his attention possibly to say something to him. But alas, they were let out a few minutes earlier because of the pouring rain outside, making it difficult for most of the students to return home. The only difference was that practice was sadly cancelled due to a meeting the faculty members had and that Oikawa didn't rush out like he would other times. Instead, he decided to stay behind and wait for Iwaizumi to pack up as well and go home with him. He felt as if something was driving him closer, it could possibly that act of affection he got earlier, or something much deeper, something much more sinister.


	3. Sinister Blades

Rustling noises and uncomfortable groans can be heard from Iwaizumi's room, he was having an intense and bad dream. A dream that would change his perspective of Oikawa for a long time until he discovered what's really been happening. Through what seemed to be a blurry lens, just like the first time he dreamt of their old memories, this time he could barely see anything clearly which made him anxious and his walking pace slower than usual. As the dreadful dream was about to end, he took a turn, making everything clear to him. He could see Oikawa like the way he was any other day, tall and slim, along with his unique features and charming personality. It was strange for Iwaizumi to think like this, but everything took a dark turn when the white and light-filled space suddenly turned into the boy's room. However, this wasn't all there was to it. His first trophy was shattered to pieces and thrown to the ground next to his volleyball which was nearly deflated. What was more sinister is that Oikawa was standing there looking at the ground with his eyes closed shut, his nose scrunched up and with flushed red cheeks. Iwaizumi felt as if he was a ghost in this situation, he carefully looked at every detail in the room. He could see that the boy was holding back from bursting into tears because he's gotten used to how he looks like when he does that. From that view, he looked so fragile as if even with the slightest blow of wind he'd shatter and crumble down. He went a bit closer to him in an attempt to see what he had on his desk, being even more cautious than he was before. What caught his eye before was some photos and papers he had scattered around there which made him curious and wanted to go and see for himself. He paused, looking at the desk. It seemed to be a letter of some sort, but what confused him even more, was that he had placed photos of him and Iwaizumi on there. He quickly turned around to try and talk to Oikawa, but only to notice that his eyes were now open and bloodshot, pouring out waterfalls of tears. "O-Oikawa, what the hell?" The boy couldn't say anything more until he saw him walking towards his bed and getting hold of a sharp blade in his hands. Before he could even process anything, look at the photos one more time or even read the letter, he woke up. He was woken up by his mother, mostly because she was concerned since Iwaizumi was drenched in sweat and since he'd be late if he slept more. His mother left the room shortly after, leaving him with his heartbeat racing and panting heavily. He needed to see that dream again, he had to learn why all of that happened, why did it even begin in the first place.

Quickly dashing out the front door worried that he'd be late, he saw Oikawa waiting for him outside with a pout. "Iwa-chan.." He groaned. "Make sure you're not late next time." He crossed his arms and slowly started walking towards their school. Iwaizumi was more focused on the dream rather than what the boy said to him. "Yeah yeah let's just go Trashykawa." After that interaction, other than wondering how they did on a test they had the other day, they didn't talk that much. There was an awkward tension between them, as if that dream might've created something new between the two boys. Something unfamiliar yet old to the both of them. Luckily, they made it right on time and surprisingly weren't late at all. While heading to their homeroom, Oikawa was greeted by the small fanbase he'd created somehow and Iwaizumi observed more in depth. The way the boy talked, how he standed and the face expressions he'd make. All he wanted was to find out why everything was set out like this, why did these dreams and especially to him, he felt as if it could've been anyone else, but something chose him. Why did this all of a sudden start and what triggered it? These thoughts followed him all day long, leaving him restless. During one of their classes, a headache struck him again to the point where he had to ask for a bathroom break. He'd never asked for permission for something like this before and Oikawa noticed that, shortly after he had stalled enough time to make it less suspicious he asked the same thing and head out to find him. Luckily for him, Iwaizumi was at the closest bathroom to their classroom. "Iwa-chaaaan~" He slowly creeped his way closer to the stall that the boy was using. "Go back to class." His cold tone of voice encouraged Oikawa to stay longer. "Mph, what happened? Big boy got siiiick?~" "I'll beat your ass once I get out of here, and no. I'm fine." He didn't want to mention anything about the dream yet until he'd uncover more by himself in the fear of saying anything could trigger something which would cause him to never see it again. "Then what is it? Hmm~" Before Iwaizumi could say anything more, Oikawa went inside of the stall next to him and stood on the toilet, peeking over. "Uwaaah you're not even doing anything! Seriously what happened? I'm starting to get worried." "D-damn it." The boy scoffed under his breath. "Look, it's nothing as of now. If anything more happens... Then I'll maybe tell you Jerkawa." He sighed in his hidden desperation. "Could you come over to my house after school then? Tomorrow's Saturday so I don't think it'll be much for you." Oikawa's eyes were sparkling as he asked him. He was really curious as well and wanted to know more. "I'll even bring you coffeeee~" He later added as he got down and waited outside of the next stall. "I don't have anything else to do so fine whatever. I'll come. Just make sure to buy me coffee from outside, I don't trust you making coffee yourself." At this point he was standing up and looking at the ground where Oikawa's feet were forming a shadow. "Go to class now, and if they ask, say I'm a bit sick or something." "Oki doki!" His bright spirit soon left the bathroom going back to class. Iwaizumi was filled with the sound of silence after a couple of minutes. He honestly just wanted to leave early so he could take a nap and maybe trigger the dream again, but it didn't seem like it. He couldn't come up with any excuses at the moment because his mind was too occupied thinking about the incident. 

The bell rang and all of the students went to enjoy their lunch, while Oikawa was still waiting infront of the stall the boy was in. "I'm not gonna ask you any more questions, just come out so we can eat lunch." He slightly groaned in impatience leaning his back against the door and closing his eyes as the silence took over again. Iwaizumi eventually came out by busting the door open and flinging Oikawa towards the sinks. "Don't do that again or else I'll open the door harder next time." He waited for him to get back in track whilst glaring at him. The boys finally leave together for lunch, nothing special happens during that time. Oikawa chatted with a few other people that came to sit with them and Iwaizumi ate his lunch while listening to everyone else talk, trying to spot out small details about him even closer now. However, none of them were enjoying this. They would've preferred to eat on the roof which was accessible now since it wasn't raining that day despite it raining yesterday. Everyone seemed to have a clear reason as to why they were closer to their best friends. But that wasn't the case of Iwaizumi and Oikawa, at least not for now.


	4. Strange Emotions

Some time after Oikawa had finished his conversation with the other students, he got up and signaled Iwaizumi to follow him. "I'm not your goddamn dog." He stared at him. "Iwa-chan~ Just follow me, I think the roof's accessible now." Once the boy mentioned the roof, a place where no one can disturb them he got up and went ahead of him, walking faster than usual towards their escape. Both of them were practically running up the stairs now. "You've gotten faster Iwa-chan!" He whined a bit but tried not to make it obvious. "I always was faster than you Shittykawa." A few more seconds later, they made it. The view was mesmerizing, something they haven't seen in a long time. Oikawa was the first to go close to the edge, leaning onto the blue railing. "They really should paint over this one day... The color isn't even a good shade of blue anymore." Iwaizumi was slightly panting as he got closer. "Why because your skin is too sensitive?" He scoffed and said that in a mocking way towards him. The boy stuttered and replied in a timid voice. "...No." He chuckled at Oikawa's words, then sighed looking down. "Are you going to sprint out of the classroom when we finish again?" Oikawa paused for a moment. "Yeah. I need to get something done today because my parents are out of town for a bit." "I see." The atmosphere around them kept shifting rapidly. "You can come a couple of minutes later after you go home, I don't mind. I'll be home before you come over either way." "I'll just leave my bag and come straight to you. It's easier." A few more minutes of silence passed, the sky seemed to be getting prepared to rain, but it wasn't certain. "You're all quiet today. Where's that pride of yours? Did you forget it somewhere?" "I-Iwa-chan! That's a different matter. Let me enjoy the view before we have to go back to class now." They were both leaning on the old railing and didn't say a word to each other for the rest of lunchtime. Iwaizumi's mind was focused on the dream situation and Oikawa was captivated by the view. However, that didn't last long as the bell rang shortly after their arrival there. Disappointed they couldn't stay longer, they went back downstairs where the rest of the students went and entered their homeroom. A few hours later and they were finally finished for the day. Oikawa dashed out of the classroom nearly dropping his bag because he didn't hold onto it properly before heading, making Iwaizumi chuckle. This time he went home alone, there was an urge to find out where Oikawa went, but he didn't bother. He just hoped for the best since he started feeling suspicious about the dream. 

Iwaizumi arrived home safely, asking his mother for permission and quickly changing out of his uniform once she allowed him to go and got upstairs to his room. He had a feeling of uneasiness for a little while but forgot about it after he arrived just in time to see Oikawa trying to unlock the door. He walked right behind him without saying anything. "You still can't unlock doors in one go?" The boy was startled, flinching upwards. "At least say something Iwa-chan..." He kept struggling to open the door until Iwaizumi got a hold of the key from his hands and unlocked it for him. "It's not that hard." He scoffed and admitted defeat as he got inside with him. "Oh yeah, why did you want me to come over?" "...No reason in particular..." He set down his bag in the living room then went upstairs waiting for Iwaizumi. Shortly after both of them were sitting on his bed but they weren't talking at all to each other, Iwaizumi was on his phone and Oikawa was laying down with his legs touch the floor looking at the ceiling. He eventually sprung up and turned himself towards the boy's direction. "So what were you going to talk about hm?" "I never said I was going to say anything to you about the dream. I need to figure out something else." Oikawa was impatient and laid on Iwaizumi's chest. "Come on Iwa-chan~ Pretty please?" He sighed. "I might say it tomorrow.. If it actually works." His curiosity grew more and more. "Work what? What whaaat...!" The boy did his puppy dog eyes in an attempt to get Iwaizumi to say at least something minor, completely forgetting that there's no way this would work against him. He ended up hitting him over the head. "Ow... Come on at least tell me a little bit." "All I'm saying is that it's about the dream. That's all." He scoffed but still let Oikawa remain laid down on his chest then continued to browse on his social media. The boy was still bothered by Iwaizumi and the fact that he didn't tell him anything. In desperation he tried everything he could to get him to speak. Messing up his hair, attempting to tickle him and many more but to no avail. Oikawa ended up falling asleep on top of his chest leaving him somewhat trapped. Taking advantage of the time he had left, although still on the bed, Iwaizumi decided to thoroughly look around the room, specifically for the best setter award and his volleyball. It took him a bit of time to find the volleyball as it was under a small space he had from his desk. On the other hand, the trophy was quite easy to find since it was pinned on the wall on the opposite side of his bed along with some other ones next to it. A few minutes had gone by slower than usual as he had nothing else to do. Out of the blue, he zoned out, looking at Oikawa. He managed to spot out every little detail from him. The way his nose gets red with the colder seasons even inside a warm home, his rather long eyelashes that complimented his sleepy eyes, the way his jawline was sharp in a very unique way. His slightly veiny hands, curling up when he's tired. The way his cheeks puffed up when asleep, his luscious lips being the perfect shade of red with a tint of deep pink. His mind went blank for a moment. Why was he thinking about such things all of a sudden. It started off simple with just thinking about the details of him but then it felt weird. Iwaizumi had an urge to continue it, but another one to stop. He couldn't choose, plus he needed to focus on something more serious at the moment and couldn't get distracted by other things. 

Shortly after this mild panic, Oikawa woke up whining. "Mmh, sorry Iwa-chan." The boy didn't know that his face was flushed. "Iwa-chan..." He sat up with his back against the wall. "Why is your face all red." He said in a sleepy voice, rubbing his eyes before looking at the time. "Forget about it. I-" "IWA-CHAN IT'S LATE GO AWAY" Iwaizumi was irritated by the yelling, but he got up, got a hold of his bag and walked towards the door. "Goodnight Oikawa." He sighed then left completely. The boy was confused. "Did he- Did he just say goodnight to me? Normally? Man he's changed." He said to himself and after that small confusion he got up and went to shower, feeling happy that after so long he referred to him normally for once. On the other hand, Iwaizumi was still having an inner panic even while walking back to his own home. Once he arrived, his mother was actually was actually asleep already, so he tried his best not to wake her up as he dashed upstairs to his room, locking the door behind him. He unexpectedly started panting heavily the minute he had his back against the door. A wave of dizziness quickly followed shortly after he sat down on his bed, holding the bedsheet tightly. His mind was occupied enough for the day and couldn't stay up any longer, he couldn't forget anything, so he decided to sleep it off and get some rest. It also gave him another opportunity to see the dream again, but surprisingly, he didn't see it and woke up the next morning feeling rather disappointed. The day went by as expected, nothing happened, nor did he go to Oikawa's house. Instead, he spent the day with his mother. Together they went shopping for the groceries and he even quickly went to the mall to gift her a new pair of earrings with the spear money he had saved up. She was obviously pleasantly surprised that he'd do this especially since it was out of the blue. It seemed as if something was changing him into something better, slowly taking away his intense aggression he once had. They had lunch together back at home and spend the rest of the day talking about various topics and ending it off by watching a few movies together during the late hours of the night until his mother fell asleep on the couch. Iwaizumi got a blanket and covered her up, saying goodnight to her as he went to his room again completely forgetting about his strange thoughts he had yesterday. After checking up with some news and social media, he got ready for bed, unexpectedly entering dream land once more.


	5. Anxiety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yall, exams got my weeks completely busy and couldn't find some time to write another chapter, but now its here. sorry for the delay :>

Once Iwaizumi had entered this strange land once more, it showed the white background with each childhood memory. He realized he couldn't waste any time so he ran across the long hallway, somehow triggering the room midway. After his arrival there, it seemed as if Oikawa couldn't see him, and he took advantage of that. He started meticulously looking around the bedroom. The nearly deflated ball and his first award shattered on the ground were the same. This time he got a closer look at the boy's face. His tear-stained cheeks, meaning that he was possibly crying before this. The way his nose was scrunched up and flushed red. Iwaizumi was worried and his breaths got shakier each minute passed by. He was extremely worried for him. After a little while of inspecting around the room, his eyes glanced over at the desk and he remembered to take a look at the letter and the photos. What made him even more concerned was that next to photos of himself with Oikawa were some without him, and those photos without him were the faces of people that he knew, either from his class or simply students that he knew about that attended the same school as the both of them. Iwaizumi recognized them very clearly, but their faces crossed out and with big X's on them, some of them were even scribbled with the same marker. It gave him goosebumps, but without knowing how much time he had left, he had to search faster. The behind of the photos were blank but with another quick glance he noticed that some other ones had little paragraphs written on them, once again with the marker that created the scribbles, which was left on the first photo he found. "I know you were all nice to me but I know It's only because you want to get with me because I'm popular. Please, I can sniff your kind out so easily at this point. You're so pathetic, thinking you can win me over like that. Yes, I've been won over in the past and couldn't believe it, It's gross just thinking about her. I only need one person, not you." The first paragraph sounded extremely out of place and confused Iwaizumi. That was written on a picture of Oikawa and a girl from a different class and a year younger than them. What first crossed Iwaizumi's mind was about Oikawa's first girlfriend. He used to complain that she only went for him because of his looks, but then also blamed himself for their break up due to him being too involved with volleyball. Of course, what the boy was saying at the time wasn't true. Iwaizumi always thought that if two people truly love and care about each other will focus on their dreams, but will still maintain a healthy and loving relationship. It all depended on trust as well, but, that's only what he thought. He clearly expressed it to him in the past but wasn't confident enough to fully explain it to him.

Suddenly, after picking up another photo to look at what was written on the back of it, he felt as if his heart had sank. The next stage of the dream had begun. Oikawa began silently crying and Iwaizumi started panicking. He held onto the photographs in hopes of taking them with him, but doubtful of his decision. He had to find a way to talk to the boy. By poking him, to talking to him, nothing had worked and all of his attempts had failed. His heart was beating faster and faster, having an intense feeling within him. He felt dizzy, but the only thing he could do was to look at the boy crying, then start walking towards his bed where the blade was. Iwaizumi's mind clicked. He didn't remember seeing a blade on the bed before this started happening. It could've been something that triggered it like the first time he saw it, but now he didn't have enough time left to stop it. He needed to wake up. He couldn't bare seeing what would happen next, even if it wasn't anything and it was all his imagination, he didn't care. He wanted to get up somehow. It was something new to him, he's never felt that way and especially not in a dream which made everything even more strange. Iwaizumi still had a hold of the photos since that was his main priority right now, the papers scattered around the desk seemed too difficult for him to read while all of this was unfolding in front of him. Everything felt so real, from the way Oikawa's face looked to the way he could feel his spirit shattering. At this point on he could hear his own heartbeat. It was uncomfortably silent. He's never seen his best friend in the state that he was currently and didn't want to imagine it being true. The boy started walking towards the bed, leaning down to pick up the sharp blade. Iwaizumi couldn't hold back. He yelled out to him. "OIKAWA!" Before vanishing from the dream. He once again woke up a couple of hours later, he didn't get much sleep either since he woke up at around four in the morning. He was panting and looking outside of his window to see the moon shining light into his bedroom. He needed to see him, that dream was too much to handle even for him. He quickly grabbed his phone from where it was charging and changed his shirt, not caring about anything else. Iwaizumi quickly rushed to the front door after leaving a note for his mother so she wouldn't worry if he still hadn't returned by the time she would wake up. Still panting, he ran to Oikawa's house, not worrying about disturbing his parents, since he told him before that they were out of town for a little while. "Shittykawa you better open up." His voice was breaking. "Please." He said that in a weak tone under his breath. Something switched in him completely and wanted to make sure his best friend was safe.


End file.
